Going home....

Well going back to my sweet home in Melaka is the very wish I wished for every Monday.........
Somehow I starting to lose those happiness that I'm going back........
I feel it's harder for me to face my friends, as days goes by........
I have already accept the every fact that is happening right now........
But still I can't get over it........
Though I thought I just said I felt better but these feelings came back somehow........
I start to afraid to go back home.......
Cause I don't know how to face my friends anymore I scared I accidentally tell them what's bothering me........
I scared if I said it, it might affect relationships between everyone of us.......
Why can't this world gets a LOT more easier........
Sometimes I wish there's someone there asking me is everything ok?
But there isn't it's always I going around and ask for help.......
It's always like this even on facebook.......
Someone just pop out saying that I can talk to that person then the next day I message, that person didn't reply me at all.......
This can really hurt someone that waited for help so long.......
It's like telling a person that's dying in the desert without any communication device that everything will be ok and help is on their way........
WTH is wrong with this world?
Well maybe it's Karma.......

Or it's simply just when people gets older, trust isn't so easy to be gained by others.......
People gets more complicated as getting ages because we learn from experience.......
But why am I still like a child?I really feel like I'm still a kid in a OLDer body........
Now for me "love" ain't that innocent anymore.......
I want to be in an INNOCENT love........
Just PURE INNOCENT......
Nothing else in it just purely two people love each other that's it.....
Guess it's hard to find this "love" these days espeacially when people gets old.......
Nothing is innocent anymore these days........
Kids gets more corrupted, just say bout kids beside me a not even 12 years old boy asked me to look at another girl's panty I was like WTH?!
Who's your parents, sad to say that kid is my cousin.......
Tskk......Maybe I'm just a people hater........
I was envy at his innocent before.......
But then he told me something like that he just disgust me.......
Seriously, he is the youngest cousin in my family and I loved him the most........
Now I see him I didn't even want to talk to him........
I feel sorry to him but I can't help it........
The innocent of him has gone.......
And it is one thing that once gone you're never going to take it back........
I admit I've lost that a LONG time ago.......
But I'm searching a way of getting it back and it fail everything.......
Now, I just can envy and new born babies.........

Ahhhh I just got further and further away from what I want to say.......
I'm not that happy to go back already as I now know the truth........
And I starting to not understand what I'm writing already.......
So that's it tonight.......
Ciaoz.......^^